Thursday, March 31, 2011

Oh .. Oh.. I see

I've seen it all before... I've seen and heard a million times before - what you claim to know and think to feel .. This 'joy' you feel it's not real this love you feel - how much do you believe it...when your hardly ever happy anymore ... But it's ok ... It's what you think you want.. So why not ~~~ and then on a side note I hate how people will DECIDE to 'understand' you when they don't ACTUALLY understand shit and they make you explain it so many times... And they have a pre conceived fucking answer to my problems when they don't understand in the first place about what I'm really feeling... If you don't understand don't pretend ... It pisses me off - oh btw ... All these stories I I've been telling you recently .. And you claim to have heard them before ? You haven't actually ... Maybe someone else told them before me ... But not me

outclassed
3:28 PM

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Our nights

I'm wide awake and you look perfect next to me... And this photograph I look so deep sometimes I hear you breath ... I'm here alone trying to hang onto my soul but the distance takes it's toll you know ... You know .

outclassed
12:33 AM

Our nights

outclassed
12:32 AM

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Love

My love is a burning consuming fire just waiting to turn your tears into roses
To set your body on fire and make you into crimson roses

outclassed
4:20 PM

Outcomes

That's what happens when you lie and hide things from someone. That's what happens when you let yourself do whatever you like no matter the cost to someone else ... You hurt them ... And you don't understand why ... And because you don't understand you get angry ... And when your angry and sad there will always be someone there trying to get you... Because humans are animals too ... We sense weakness in the bonds of people and we jump at every chance to get what we want

outclassed
4:15 PM

Young blood

You may be older then me ... But your still so young when it comes to crunch time

outclassed
4:11 PM

Monday, March 28, 2011

Won't matter to me

I have realized that everything that has happened to you will have changed you.. And you will never really heal and go back to the bri I first met ... But neither will I ever want you to ... No matter what happens i still love you ... Even if you turn into an evil crazy bitch who wants to kill people ... In my eyes that is what perfect will mean ...

outclassed
5:53 AM

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Don't be afraid

If you ever feel like you still love me ... Do not feel obliged to stay with him. If you want to be with me again then come back. You say the pain is never far from the surface.. I'm not saying it will be easy... Life is not easy. But to remove the pain we need to work through it instead of trying to move on when we know we love each other too much.

outclassed
3:59 PM

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Originality

So ... The man he is afraid .. Fickle, constantly changing direction in his life, never knowing which way to go . He moves left .. He moves right he sleeps with her and her sister and her mother ... He is constantly afraid .. He is dying growing old and bleeding.. He is lying on the floor blood gushing from his side with mere moments to live and regrets in his heart ... And the woman ... The woman is in love with him and Just could never have him ... Oh no she could never have him ... I would much rather be the man

outclassed
9:53 AM

Life

This is the end ...Goodbye .. The lights are turning off and the curtains are closing it's time for my exit .. All I do is cause pain anyway

outclassed
9:50 AM

Life

This is the end ...Goodbye .. The lights are turning off and the curtains are closing it's time for my exit .. All I do is cause pain anyway

outclassed
9:34 AM

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The same answer

I reply with the same line everynight ... I tell him ... Whatever it takes and he laughs

outclassed
12:15 PM

Explosive

Im destroying things ... I'm self destructing ... Pushing away everyone who cares for me and they don't know why ... But it's fine I can do this all on my own

outclassed
8:51 AM

Monday, March 21, 2011

Mother dearest

.... I need someone tonight ... I need someone to be with me tomorrow

outclassed
9:30 AM

Sunday, March 20, 2011

when i found out you had lied to me i held you to sleep and i wiped your tears...
when he found out you lied ... where did he go ?

outclassed
11:03 PM

Who am I ?

I prayed for you tonight ... And I asked god to ease your pain ... And to help guide you to where you want to go and what you want to do with your life ... I have never found a reason to pray ... I didn't even pray for myself ... Or for you to come back to me ... I just prayed for god to guide you and take care of you ... And to ease the pain much of which is caused by me ... Oh too much is caused by me... I cried ... I cried so much as I prayed ... In crying and the tears are dropping onto my phone screen as I type .... Oh the pain I've caused ... The pain i caused to you ... The pain I caused to my parents ... To the many people who have tried to love me ... I have caused so much pain who am I to cause all this hurt ? Who am I?

outclassed
11:39 AM

When I'm hurting

When in sad .. I want you to be there for me to cheer me up ... To give me a hug .. A random hug from behind or hold me while I sleep .. I want comfort too :)

outclassed
11:35 AM

Friday, March 18, 2011

When I'm hurting

When in sad .. I want you to be there for me to cheer me up ... To give me a hug .. A random hug from behind or hold me while I sleep .. I want comfort too :)

outclassed
8:54 PM

Marks

Born afresh with marks of death

outclassed
2:38 AM

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Without you

Don't think I could be happy without you

outclassed
4:29 AM

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

you finally found out about the little one following you ... haha oh well .. you should be fine i think ^^

outclassed
12:08 PM

:) learning experience

I think I just found out why this has gone wrong so many times before :) but now I know :) we can dooo it

outclassed
3:54 AM

Monday, March 14, 2011

Wow ...

After everything I've done ... Everything I've put myself through just for you ... The amount of time and money spent ... Sacrifices made... All this doesn't seem to matter because the moment you feel 'uncomfortable' you want to shut me out ? What the fuck do you think this is ? The world of bri and her joys? Not fucking everything ... Has to do with you, you don't get to just do whatever the fuck you want and expect everything to be ok.... No fucking self control .. No boundaries ... So much for never doing it again huh ? I gave you a second chance you threw it straight in my fucking face and lied to me about it ... So I gave you a third chance ... But hey when it gets to tough you can just shut it all out and run away right ? I mean hey ... There's billions of people out there ... You can always find new friends sure whatever ... If that's how you want to live your life then go right ahead ... Nobody can stop bri from doing what she wants right ? But at least remember ... That your family ... That is one thing you can never replace so treat them right ... No matter what happens they will always be your family don't ever forget that

outclassed
10:28 AM

The amount of wrong

You tell me you don't want to have to be on par ? How the fuck are we on par .... Everything ive done is a hell of alot more then you have done

outclassed
9:49 AM

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Intrigued ... Jaded... Confused

You can't figure him out ... It's like a puzzle and that intrigues you ... You want to find out more ... You think you already know everything there is to know about me ... I can see it in the way you look at me ... So knowing so bored ... Oh but good god you have no idea ... You have made ideas in your head of who I am ... I don't know where these ideas have come from ... Maybe people put them in there by the things they say about me ... Oh yes ... And you have slowly jaded more and more towards me ... Everything I do now will piss you off ... The more I love you the less you want me ... You have no idea what to do ... One minute you want me ... One minute you know you shouldn't want me but oh you want me... Your just afraid ... You want that stability of a committed relationship for once ... When in actual fact stability is the one thing I offer best ... We could do whatever we wanted ... You could have all the opportunities in the world ... But maybe ... Seeing as the more I love you ... The more you push me away ... Maybe all I should do now is nothing ... Let you do what you want to your life ... Whether you fuck up your life ... Or if you do succeed ... Maybe I should just let you ... But oh how I wish ... Your word actually meant something ... And oh how I wish I wouldn't believe everything you say anymore ... But I can't help it ... It seems no matter how many times you break my trust I will continue to believe you ... What do you want ? Just tell me straight and simple ... Do you want me out of your life? If not ... Then try to at least make an effort ... Just like you said you would ... Just like those letters you wrote me...

outclassed
3:03 PM

Worried sick

Yesterday ... I was so scared ... I ran around the entire area of serangoon and vivo and nobody knew where you were and nobody could contact you I eventually headed down to work ... And my hands were shaking ... Shaking so bad and I started to hyperventilate ... Yea ok I know kinda over the top but yea ... It happened haha

outclassed
1:38 PM

Who am I ?

Who am I to get involved in other peoples business? Who am I to try and change your mind ? Who am I to try to help you ? Who am I to be the one that's always there for you ? Who ? Tyrone that's who ... The Tyrone that will never judge you... The Tyrone that will from time to time fuck up ... The imperfect Tyrone who is trying his best to be there for you ... The Tyrone that has caused you alot of pain ... The Tyrone that's trying to heal that pain ... The Tyrone who gets so worried about you that his hands shake ... The Tyrone who would destroy anyone who harms you ... But .... Have I become just an obligation ?

outclassed
1:32 PM

Trek

Trekking all over serangoon and vivo ... Oh good god >< tonights going to be a busy night too

outclassed
1:38 AM

Oh fuck

Oh good god ... I don't know where you are .... If you kill yourself I will
Never forgive myself ... I couldn't stop you ... Hell I didn't even know where to find you ... How can I call myself a man ... If I couldn't even save your life ...

outclassed
12:00 AM

Friday, March 11, 2011

Roaming

Spent the past 2 hours looking for you ... I don't know where you are I went to bra's house and I still can't find you ... Please tell me where you are ...

outclassed
11:35 PM

The pain of this sleep

the dreams are getting worse... oh i dont even get the comfort of sleep anymore... no i dont get the comfort of sleep

outclassed
9:21 PM

do i really mean that little to you?

outclassed
9:21 PM

Meeeeoooow

And now I am home and I shall hug that cat! Goodnight ... No more lucid dreams please

outclassed
12:03 PM

All the glamour

The glitz the glamour ... Doesn't phase me any more I look around and all I see is empty faces all with their own problems it's a sad sad world ... Cruel and full of suffering people try their best ... Give it their all and yet ... They still fail ... And then there are the people who never have to try ... And they get whatever they want ... Its a sad world ... Because even the people who get what they want ... Too easily .. They are never happy DILEMMA haha

outclassed
4:47 AM

Maxout

Poster boy for powerbalance at the max out water sports wakeboarding event :) mmmm I can't wait :)

outclassed
1:45 AM

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Crowded empty spaces

People all around me with loud crashing noise ... I don't hear any of it

outclassed
11:26 PM

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The first day we met

The first day we met .. It was raining after our movie ... And as we started to realize that we had an interest for each other the rain started to clear and we walked in it for a while .. Getting touched by the rain ... As if to signify that storm of my life will be calm again now that I had met you .. And then everytime something went wrong it seemed to rain where I was ... And then when we worked things out it would pass again ... Oh I love the rain but ... I don't want it to rain anymore ... Not now not ever .. Not in this way

outclassed
10:33 PM

Blissful sleep

I'm having a recurring dream ... Your always there ... I open the door to my house ... And your there waiting for me after I finish work ... ( in the dream I'm some banker with a nice house) I get home to you smiling and you give me a big hug and kiss ... Then you start to walk upstairs and say you will wait for me there .. But when I walk up the stairs and onto our second floor you look at me and walk around a corner into this big room .. And when I get to this room your not there ... Your not there and that's when I wake up ... I've woken up in tears the past week.. The only day I didn't get that dream was Sunday and monday

outclassed
7:15 PM

oh so wrong

this bed i lie in no longer feels right ... it feels oddly large ... to big for me.. there is something missing ... there is a place here .. that is empty oh so empty.. there is always a spot here .. waiting to be filled .. waiting to be filled by that right person .. until that happens .. it is oh so cold ... oh so empty oh so painful

outclassed
6:13 AM

found it :)

i found the post that got deleted haha

sitting downstairs .. in your lobby .. ive got butterflies in my stomach... all day i just couldn't wait for school to end i kept checking my phone and the clock and oh my god im so excited to see your face haha :) im so madly in love ive got your black shirt here and your going to wear it later and i look forward to it :) your trademark black shirt haha im kinda nervous too .. like a first date ... i dont know what to say when i see you ... but ill probably just end up not saying anything and smiling like an idiot xD oh wells :) hope you wont mind ^_^ oh my god i cant wait to give you a big big big hug ^^ oh im already smiling mmhmm already smiling maccaroons ... baby visiting .. a swim i cant wait ! ^_^ oh oh oh oh we can do this ^^ we can be so happy together we could ~ thats where the blogging got interupted by a call ~ and if i remember correctly i was going to say conquer the world and that time i didn't mean it the way i meant it a long time ago .. i meant conquer the world with love ... we could be perfect together oh yes we could :)

outclassed
5:28 AM

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Ticking bomb

Oh it's like a guilty pleasure ... The guilty pleasures of my heart and yours

outclassed
11:16 PM

One sided

Having one sided conversations with the social networking sites that have become the only friend I have ... I wont do it anymore it's wierd and stranger

outclassed
9:04 PM

Mindless

I walk around school, people saying I look a little pale ... People asking what's wrong ... I feel I'm not here ... Just a shell walking from place to place ... Empty as empty can be ... Occasionally I'll talk or laugh maybe crack a joke if your lucky but ... It's not really me ... School sucks more then ever before ... Or is it just me?

outclassed
9:01 PM

Sitting

Sitting in the toilet cubicles ... Tryin to hold it together ... My fists are bruised my eyes are sore ... And my teachers all hate me ... But its ok ... These eyes have seen ... They are never afraid ... They are never afraid.... Oh god but I am so afraid

outclassed
8:46 PM

Washed up

I've been washed up .. Chewed up and spat out ... Old news ... There's someone else in your heart now ... You've taken me ... And now you've put me back .. To face this world alone oh this old cold world.. With peoples happy smiles and laughing eyes seemingly mocking me for all the pain I feel ... Don't take me for granted ... Because ... It hurts and my head tells me that I shouldn't be so easily accessible ... And I should make it harder to see me .. Make you miss me and eventually love me once more ... But I can't do that ... I Won't cause you pain .. Even if that means I won't have you to call as my own... I won't cause you pain ... I never will not again ... Not since ive put you through so much pain ... I won't make you do anything you don't want to ... Your choices are yours to make ... But like you once said to me ... Be sure as hell about your choices.... I'll be there when you need me.. Even though you never were.

outclassed
3:08 PM

Miss me

One day ... When you miss me .. If you miss me just come back ... Just come back I'll be waiting.

outclassed
8:37 AM

Oh so cold

It started in a pool it seems it ends at a pool too ... Oh the water was so warm but I felt so cold ... Oh so cold ...

outclassed
8:37 AM

Seeing you play with that baby :) makes me so happy

outclassed
1:34 AM

Monday, March 7, 2011

i dont care about your perception of me ... maybe you think all i do is fuck chicks ... but seriously mate? i have a heart too believe it or not .. and yes i have given it to bri and yes right now things might not be perfect ... but im happy to just see her smile and i go to sleep happy. the best days ive had so far .. have been with her ... so no ... i dont 'just want to have sex with her' i am madly in love... call me crazy ... hell .. dont even be my friend

outclassed
7:41 AM

Are you sure?

... The pain you've felt has been getting worse and worse the more you try ... The cause and effect is obvious but you don't see it .. But it's ok because I'm still waiting .. And I'll wait till the day you realize what went wrong ... Today I go to bed .. Not feeling the regular pain ... But feeling your pain ... And wishing I could take it all away wishing you would come back into the safety of my love... Because I'll keep you safe no matter what! I will wrap you in the safe blanket of love ... Please stop hurting ... Please feel no more pain :( I miss your smiles and your sparkling eyes ... I miss it all ... I'll make it come back ... I promise I'll make you safe .. And happier then anyone ever will

outclassed
7:20 AM

When it seems
Like the world around you's breaking
And it feels
Like there's no one else around you
And it's quiet
There's a silence in the darkness
And it sounds
Like the carnival is over

As you walk
In the crowded empty spaces
And you stare
At the emptiness around you
You wanna go
To the city and the bright lights
Get away
From the sinners that surround you

Cause I will be there
And you will be there
We'll find each other in the dark
And you will see
And I'll see you too
Cause we'll be together in the dark

Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
Cause I will be there
Cause we need each other in the dark
And if it terrifies you
Then it terrifies me
Cause I will be there
So we've got each other in the dark

As I look into the sky
There's sparks bright as ice
You want me to take you over there
I want you to stay with me
Cuz you're not the only one
The only one

No, no
Don't worry
You're not the only one

Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
But I will be there
Cuz we need each other in the dark

Cause if it's coming for you
Then it's coming for me
But I will be there
Cuz we need each other in the dark
And if it's panicking you
Then it's panicking me
But I will be there
So we've got each other in the dark

In the dark
In the dark
We'll need each other in the dark

In the dark
In the dark
We'll hold each other in the dark

Now we're saved together in the dark

Cause we've got each other in the dark

outclassed
5:55 AM

Walking in a dream

It's what I do ... Everything just becomes a routine ... I'm not in my own head when I'm at school I'm not in my own head when I'm at home .. The only time I'm actually not spacing out ... Is when it's worth being in my own head :)

outclassed
2:09 AM

Sunday, March 6, 2011

The happiness we share

We wake up .. With sad eyes and heavy hearts .. We walk around thinking .. What are we supposed to do now? When we are apart it seems that things start to crash around us .. But when we are together the happiness we share is like no other. I still believe if this had not happened... Or stopped happening we would be so much happier. Together we could be the happiest people in the world. We love each other. We could do it.

outclassed
3:07 PM

tonight will be the first night in a long time that i will go to sleep happy... it just sucks that your having such a hard time :( but it will all be better soon :)

outclassed
6:18 AM

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Ion orchard

I'm sitting here in orchard on a little coach next to a young couple with a baby ... They look so happy ... But how long will it last ?

outclassed
9:26 PM

The pain is never far from sight.. I can always feel it no matter what I'm doing.. The only times where I don't hurt is when your in my arms or I am asleep .. But the pain is there every-night as I prepare for bed.. I get under the covers without your warmth... And I think about how much I miss you and wish you were there... But no it's ok ... I can take the pain ... I've admitted that I do feel this pain ... But I know your hurting too .. And all I can do is to not add my pain to yours and hope that one day when all is said and done you will end up back in my arms.. Just like it used to be

outclassed
8:41 PM

i think that the first time... that was a mistake and was found to be shameful so it was hidden ... and the longer it was hidden the more corroded everything else became... and by corroding everything else .. there was more room for other things ... and the mistake had more room ... to grow ... and since then the mistake has started to take up more and more space and has grown to no longer be a mistake ... but has become a choice .. and everything else is just slowly being pushed from the conscience.

There is no say to be had in this .. not by anyone because it is done and irreversible by everyone but the maker of the mistake

outclassed
9:02 AM